i found this in my drafts just a bit ago. i thought that perhaps it was worth sharing although it was written probably two months ago.
my hands smell like gasoline.
i'm in a bloggy mood today.
i dunno if i was a weird child or if everyone did this but i used to think about what i would grab if my house caught on fire. it varied as i got older but a few things always stayed the same. they seem silly now.
on august 3, 2010, my house burnt down. now it's so easy to look back and see what i should have grabbed or done.
what i grabbed:
-yelple (baby blanket)
-a framed picture of the boys at the LCC
-my bible
-my kenya journal
-my dog
what i wish i would have grabbed (in addition to the list above):
-the portrait of my grandmama and grandaddy that hung above the mantle
-the guns
-photo albums
-the old jewelry box
-the fire-safe deposit box (that melted)
-any pieces of small furniture from my family's history.
-my two glass swans from Nana.
-my grandmama's flatware
-family china
the list goes on. my main question is if i could have grabbed a water hose and put the small fire out myself before it spread. oh well, too late.
what i would grab out of our new apartment:
-yelple
-the tiki man
-my records
-the gold owl figurine
-the box of paperwork that holds all of our documents
-the two-horse figurine from my grandparents
-mom's artwork
-my shoebox of memories
what i would grab out of our camp house:
-the picture Mr. Wilburn drew for me as a little girl
-grandaddy's army trunks
-the cigarette stands
-the wooden church
-the sewing machine table
-the guns (a must now)
it's funny now to think about how much of the things that burned i have never and will never even think about. i think it proves how much excess we had when it comes to stuff, junk. mom and i will be wandering down aisles at a store and suddenly remember the smallest thing that was tucked away in a closet. just yesterday i told someone that i felt it was a blessing our house burnt down. it humbled my family. i am a better person. we are a better family.
it's something to think about. i will say that it does not seem like a tragedy when you're on the outside looking in but for five minutes imagine everything you own being lost forever. every picture, every fragment of family members you've never met, every gift you've ever been given, every favorite toy, favorite pillow, favorite book, favorite four leaf clover you picked with your dad being nothing more than a pile of ashes. it's quite a humbling place to be and one that makes you value your relationships much more than your toys.
Monday, April 23, 2012
bricks
dear bloggerTM or whatever you are:
i disapprove of the new, "classy" setup.
today i had lunch with my mom. it was really great.
can i just say for the record that for as much as i dislike Columbus, i will say that i am lucky to have the most incredible group of friends here that i could possibly ask for? i know some incredible people in this rinkydink town.
i've been looking at apartments and being a big girl.
i almost have my payment for my new car, which reminds me that i need to go to the bank.
but this is all so beside the point.
i've really been listening to the wall lately.
in fact, that's really all that i've done today aside from a couple silly classes and lunch with my mom and her fantastic coworkers.
so now i'm back in my bed with my red Elizabethtown hat on wrapped up in my afghan with the faintest hint of smoke drifting from my incense in the far corner. the breeze is blowing my curtains while Pink sings about his pains of the world. take a moment just to picture it all. this is what i need my life to be like.
i feel as if sometimes i care too much about the wrong things.
sometimes i feel as if people think i should care too much about the "wrong" things.
i say "wrong" because perhaps they are the right things.
i've been such a better person since i switched majors to general studies.
i can honestly say that i have no idea what i want to do with my life and be completely okay with it.
i've talked to so many people who have graduated or are graduating in may who are just working for rent. i want to do that. i think that's why i'm most excited about this summer.
i want to be able to walk into an apartment and instantly feel the weight of the world being thrown off my shoulders. i want to be able to be completely me: messy, artistic, creative, bohemian. i want to make supper at 3am or come home after a long night of work and dance around in nothing. i want to eat good pasta or make the most incredible cupcakes i will ever sink my teeth into.
i want to decorate.
i want to paint things: walls, canvases, nails, furniture.
i want a room full of floor pillows and blankets.
i want my dog here with me more than anything in this world. i've never had a love like i do for this puppy.
comfortably numb is playing from side three (my personal favorite) of the wall and everything is alright with the world.
i love that my friends from high school are all moving back to columbus.
i hate that my friends from college are leaving columbus. they've made such an impact on me that it leaves me speechless and teary eyed just to think about it.
i know this has been rant-ish but it is what has been on my mind for the past month and a half.
i love you guys. go do good.
i disapprove of the new, "classy" setup.
today i had lunch with my mom. it was really great.
can i just say for the record that for as much as i dislike Columbus, i will say that i am lucky to have the most incredible group of friends here that i could possibly ask for? i know some incredible people in this rinkydink town.
i've been looking at apartments and being a big girl.
i almost have my payment for my new car, which reminds me that i need to go to the bank.
but this is all so beside the point.
i've really been listening to the wall lately.
in fact, that's really all that i've done today aside from a couple silly classes and lunch with my mom and her fantastic coworkers.
so now i'm back in my bed with my red Elizabethtown hat on wrapped up in my afghan with the faintest hint of smoke drifting from my incense in the far corner. the breeze is blowing my curtains while Pink sings about his pains of the world. take a moment just to picture it all. this is what i need my life to be like.
i feel as if sometimes i care too much about the wrong things.
sometimes i feel as if people think i should care too much about the "wrong" things.
i say "wrong" because perhaps they are the right things.
i've been such a better person since i switched majors to general studies.
i can honestly say that i have no idea what i want to do with my life and be completely okay with it.
i've talked to so many people who have graduated or are graduating in may who are just working for rent. i want to do that. i think that's why i'm most excited about this summer.
i want to be able to walk into an apartment and instantly feel the weight of the world being thrown off my shoulders. i want to be able to be completely me: messy, artistic, creative, bohemian. i want to make supper at 3am or come home after a long night of work and dance around in nothing. i want to eat good pasta or make the most incredible cupcakes i will ever sink my teeth into.
i want to decorate.
i want to paint things: walls, canvases, nails, furniture.
i want a room full of floor pillows and blankets.
i want my dog here with me more than anything in this world. i've never had a love like i do for this puppy.
comfortably numb is playing from side three (my personal favorite) of the wall and everything is alright with the world.
i love that my friends from high school are all moving back to columbus.
i hate that my friends from college are leaving columbus. they've made such an impact on me that it leaves me speechless and teary eyed just to think about it.
i know this has been rant-ish but it is what has been on my mind for the past month and a half.
i love you guys. go do good.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
thoughts and the past.
I should be working on homework right now but I've been working on homework all night. I needed a break so I (reactivated) my facebook to do some creeping. (shame, i know.) I found an old note i'd written at the end of 2010 talking about my year and it made me smile. I know it's a little late, but I figured I'd try to do the same with 2011.
But now that I'm sitting here talking it out, I think I'll just do the highlights of 2012 so far. 2012 has been pretty great.
The Good Times
-New Years- watching Harry Potter, cooking, building a fire, racing four wheelers, shooting fireworks all with the best friends a girl could possibly ask for.
-actually doing well in school so far. and i'm taking 19 hours. go me!
-grace and i leaving her boyfriend inappropriate messages of us singing with a guitar.
-running around the pasture like madwomen trying to get the horses up before a storm with Grace.
-randomly seeing Alex on the street and pulling into a sketchy apartment complex to complain about valentines day.
-ALABAMA WINNING #14
-finally stocked my vintage camera with a battery and film. i still need to go get the film developed to see if the dang thing even works. experimentation.
-i made the cutest darn american flag tank top.
-we bought tickets to MEXICO for this summer!
-Grace driving me to multiple doctor visits because I'm a pansy
-I started working out again! and i feel great :)
-i CLEANED my car out. it already needs it again though. bad. volunteers?
-we kidnapped Liz for her birthday and stuck her out on 3 leg
-i helped a man get his car out of a ditch at sonic.
-i also yelled at a cop and picked up his trash after he littered.
-i got a GD Greatest Hits CD for $5!
-the $1 clothing sale at Walmart. definitely a hit.
-starting my video blogs
-FINALLY deciding on and sticking to my majors/minors/graduation plan
-watching the superbowl with my boys
-nawlins with grace and our family
-Summer got me my first button :)
-i planned and now need to go get my first four tattoos. poor daddy.
-my best friend CONSTANTLY being there for me, whether it be exes, relationship problems, school, work, stress, family, whatever. she has been there EVERY second i needed her. i love you gracie!
-being on the phone with Grace as Jeremy ever so romantically asked her to prom on valentines day.
-bangin red highlights. thanks cole!
-reconnecting with old friends
-realizing how much i've changed in the past 12, 6, 3 months. then again, seeing how much i have left to grow.
-we also bought plane tickets to KENYA for July!
-caleb bought me THREE BOXES of cosmic brownies for valentines day and made me a valentine. he's the best separated twin i could have ever asked for.
-my daddy telling me he's proud of me. yeah that still brings tears
-opening the front door to see Momma watching Maury screaming, "i told you so! i told you so! youz a hoe! that aint yo baby daddy! i told you so!" (clearly unbeatable)
-playing 20 questions and other silly games at work with Spencer
-baking oodles and oodles of brownies and other sweets in order to bribe the kitchen boys into helping me clean the restaurant after we close.
-making new, big, awesome plans for the farm! too exciting
-Momma coming with me and surprising me by bringing Yelple to my MRI
-Momma calling to wish me good luck with my "political thing" (dirty rushing, even though it doesn't count as dirty rushing)
-Buck completely not even recognizing me and still not realizing who I was after five minutes of intense conversation
-being able to vent to Laura about very sensitive subjects. again, very blessed
-Crystal and Steve always supporting and guiding me
-advocating organ donation! everyone should at least look into it and consider it! save some lives!
-I filed my own taxes. big girl me :)
-ordering Kelly Ann's wedding gift! AAHHHHH
-planning a road trip in march to see American Aquarium!
-rapping with Drew at 2am MULTIPLE times while i'm up working on homework
-random trip to taco bell with laura and cody after work watching the strangest yet funniest videos.
The Not So Good-
-My sweet horse, Misty, died on 1/2.
-I made and packaged 45 gallons of tea at work in one night, on top of everything else that needed to be done.
-I passed out during my MRI.
-four full on all nighters in one week just because of homework (on top of working and actually GOING to class)
-19 hours of school, 30-40 hours of work a week
-losing a couple of the boys at the LCC. they were the sweetest and dearest to my heart.
-Jared leaving HCC and Columbus for that matter.
-i got my first ticket (parking violation), which you should already know about. if you dont then scroll down and watch that awesome video (Parking Nazi)
-I didn't get a single box of girl scout cookies.
-a fight that i thought would end a 10 year friendship with a person i can't imagine life without. (we made up, which totally counts as a "Good" thing)
-Walls closed down.
-I busted my butt during one of those previously mentioned all nighters on a short story critique that my professor didn't even grade. welcome to the dub.
-my sweet uncle might be moving to NC.
-rejection from friends.
-cutting ties.
Life changes day to day, minute to minute. I'm trying to embrace every second of it which means a lot of scheduling and a lot of sleepless nights. It's more than worth it. I'm learning not to stress about the future. It's gonna come on strong like a hurricane, throwing all kinds of things my way. This will happen whether I worry or not, so I'm choosing to live in the moment. And in this moment, I think I'll go cook myself a biscuit and wash some dishes.
Sending thoughts and love your way.
I hope your 2012 has been and continues to be as amazing as mine has been in the few weeks its been around.
PS, I heard a great quote in The Safe House (great movie, by the way). "When you have more past than future, you learn."
But now that I'm sitting here talking it out, I think I'll just do the highlights of 2012 so far. 2012 has been pretty great.
The Good Times
-New Years- watching Harry Potter, cooking, building a fire, racing four wheelers, shooting fireworks all with the best friends a girl could possibly ask for.
-actually doing well in school so far. and i'm taking 19 hours. go me!
-grace and i leaving her boyfriend inappropriate messages of us singing with a guitar.
-running around the pasture like madwomen trying to get the horses up before a storm with Grace.
-randomly seeing Alex on the street and pulling into a sketchy apartment complex to complain about valentines day.
-ALABAMA WINNING #14
-finally stocked my vintage camera with a battery and film. i still need to go get the film developed to see if the dang thing even works. experimentation.
-i made the cutest darn american flag tank top.
-we bought tickets to MEXICO for this summer!
-Grace driving me to multiple doctor visits because I'm a pansy
-I started working out again! and i feel great :)
-i CLEANED my car out. it already needs it again though. bad. volunteers?
-we kidnapped Liz for her birthday and stuck her out on 3 leg
-i helped a man get his car out of a ditch at sonic.
-i also yelled at a cop and picked up his trash after he littered.
-i got a GD Greatest Hits CD for $5!
-the $1 clothing sale at Walmart. definitely a hit.
-starting my video blogs
-FINALLY deciding on and sticking to my majors/minors/graduation plan
-watching the superbowl with my boys
-nawlins with grace and our family
-Summer got me my first button :)
-i planned and now need to go get my first four tattoos. poor daddy.
-my best friend CONSTANTLY being there for me, whether it be exes, relationship problems, school, work, stress, family, whatever. she has been there EVERY second i needed her. i love you gracie!
-being on the phone with Grace as Jeremy ever so romantically asked her to prom on valentines day.
-bangin red highlights. thanks cole!
-reconnecting with old friends
-realizing how much i've changed in the past 12, 6, 3 months. then again, seeing how much i have left to grow.
-we also bought plane tickets to KENYA for July!
-caleb bought me THREE BOXES of cosmic brownies for valentines day and made me a valentine. he's the best separated twin i could have ever asked for.
-my daddy telling me he's proud of me. yeah that still brings tears
-opening the front door to see Momma watching Maury screaming, "i told you so! i told you so! youz a hoe! that aint yo baby daddy! i told you so!" (clearly unbeatable)
-playing 20 questions and other silly games at work with Spencer
-baking oodles and oodles of brownies and other sweets in order to bribe the kitchen boys into helping me clean the restaurant after we close.
-making new, big, awesome plans for the farm! too exciting
-Momma coming with me and surprising me by bringing Yelple to my MRI
-Momma calling to wish me good luck with my "political thing" (dirty rushing, even though it doesn't count as dirty rushing)
-Buck completely not even recognizing me and still not realizing who I was after five minutes of intense conversation
-being able to vent to Laura about very sensitive subjects. again, very blessed
-Crystal and Steve always supporting and guiding me
-advocating organ donation! everyone should at least look into it and consider it! save some lives!
-I filed my own taxes. big girl me :)
-ordering Kelly Ann's wedding gift! AAHHHHH
-planning a road trip in march to see American Aquarium!
-rapping with Drew at 2am MULTIPLE times while i'm up working on homework
-random trip to taco bell with laura and cody after work watching the strangest yet funniest videos.
The Not So Good-
-My sweet horse, Misty, died on 1/2.
-I made and packaged 45 gallons of tea at work in one night, on top of everything else that needed to be done.
-I passed out during my MRI.
-four full on all nighters in one week just because of homework (on top of working and actually GOING to class)
-19 hours of school, 30-40 hours of work a week
-losing a couple of the boys at the LCC. they were the sweetest and dearest to my heart.
-Jared leaving HCC and Columbus for that matter.
-i got my first ticket (parking violation), which you should already know about. if you dont then scroll down and watch that awesome video (Parking Nazi)
-I didn't get a single box of girl scout cookies.
-a fight that i thought would end a 10 year friendship with a person i can't imagine life without. (we made up, which totally counts as a "Good" thing)
-Walls closed down.
-I busted my butt during one of those previously mentioned all nighters on a short story critique that my professor didn't even grade. welcome to the dub.
-my sweet uncle might be moving to NC.
-rejection from friends.
-cutting ties.
Life changes day to day, minute to minute. I'm trying to embrace every second of it which means a lot of scheduling and a lot of sleepless nights. It's more than worth it. I'm learning not to stress about the future. It's gonna come on strong like a hurricane, throwing all kinds of things my way. This will happen whether I worry or not, so I'm choosing to live in the moment. And in this moment, I think I'll go cook myself a biscuit and wash some dishes.
Sending thoughts and love your way.
I hope your 2012 has been and continues to be as amazing as mine has been in the few weeks its been around.
PS, I heard a great quote in The Safe House (great movie, by the way). "When you have more past than future, you learn."
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
the parking nazi.
go enjoy the sunshine today. just don't get a ticket while doing so or they'll come arrest you.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
traumatic experience (part 1)
yes. this is a "part 1" because there are surely more to follow.
also, this is my first "Vlog" and I'm thinking I'll do more soon.
(thank JennaMarbles for the inspiration)
i'll let you guys know what the results are. i've been so antsy that i'll probably call the doctor when i get out of class later today. perhaps we'll know before then.
ps, don't expect too many more 17 minute long videos. this one is taking FOREVER to upload. yes i'm impatient. and hungry as well.
SIDENOTE: since this is taking SO LONG i just called the doctor. and since the receptionist isn't medical oriented she pulled up my file and asked for my number so the nurse could call me back. i'm assuming this means they have my results, right?! i'm terribly confused. also anxious. also still hungry. also this video is still posting.
tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
tock.
(i'm a bit bored)
the worst part is that it won't tell me how much has posted or how long it will take! i'm tired of mysteries in my life. give it to me straight yo. (sorry. i apologize. sometimes gator just takes over and i get a little crazy. also if you get that reference i'll make you another cookie.)
while i've got you (and since i'm bored out of my mind) let me tell you what all i've accomplished while this thing uploads.
-brushed my teeth
-brushed my HAIR
-changed clothes
-got my books together for class
-put shoes on
-changed all the ringers and alert tones on my phone
GUYS I WENT TO A TWO HOUR LONG CLASS WHILE THIS THING WAS LOADING.
also, my internet got a little overloaded when i was working on homework and kicked me out of my blog. i just had to restart the download.
also, this is my first "Vlog" and I'm thinking I'll do more soon.
i'll let you guys know what the results are. i've been so antsy that i'll probably call the doctor when i get out of class later today. perhaps we'll know before then.
ps, don't expect too many more 17 minute long videos. this one is taking FOREVER to upload. yes i'm impatient. and hungry as well.
SIDENOTE: since this is taking SO LONG i just called the doctor. and since the receptionist isn't medical oriented she pulled up my file and asked for my number so the nurse could call me back. i'm assuming this means they have my results, right?! i'm terribly confused. also anxious. also still hungry. also this video is still posting.
tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
tock.
(i'm a bit bored)
the worst part is that it won't tell me how much has posted or how long it will take! i'm tired of mysteries in my life. give it to me straight yo. (sorry. i apologize. sometimes gator just takes over and i get a little crazy. also if you get that reference i'll make you another cookie.)
while i've got you (and since i'm bored out of my mind) let me tell you what all i've accomplished while this thing uploads.
-brushed my teeth
-brushed my HAIR
-changed clothes
-got my books together for class
-put shoes on
-changed all the ringers and alert tones on my phone
GUYS I WENT TO A TWO HOUR LONG CLASS WHILE THIS THING WAS LOADING.
also, my internet got a little overloaded when i was working on homework and kicked me out of my blog. i just had to restart the download.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
free fallin'
bear with me. i'll explain my punny title.
it's FALL break.
i'm FREE from school.
get it?? hahaha.
i'm headed out to the farm in just a few minutes and will be internetless for a few days and sparingly receptionfull so good luck reaching me. here's some fun pictures to enjoy for our time apart.
i would tell you that i'll take more pictures for you this week but i have no intention so i wont. enjoy :)
it's FALL break.
i'm FREE from school.
get it?? hahaha.
i'm headed out to the farm in just a few minutes and will be internetless for a few days and sparingly receptionfull so good luck reaching me. here's some fun pictures to enjoy for our time apart.
our little furry legged chick chicks
my precious baby boy, Buddy :)
last Christmas
my precious precious daddy last Christmas
i would tell you that i'll take more pictures for you this week but i have no intention so i wont. enjoy :)
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